Video of Duncan crawling!

US Cellular = Fail

What the hell, US Cellular?

We've been loyal customers for years. But I guess that doesn't matter?

FYI to everyone, apparently when you are on a shared plan, ONLY the person whose name is on the account - not any authorized users - can cancel the plan or upgrade the phone.

This sounds like logic but it's hell of inconvenient to people with JOBS.

Jon's Blackberry died so he decided to get a HTC Touch Pro 2. We have to buy out the BB's contract and sign a new one for the new phone. He got his phone last night. Great, isn't it?

Today I popped over there to get one for myself, you know because the husband doesn't get to get a cool phone unless the wife does. They wouldn't even let me in the door. Apparently, because Jon's name is on the account, he's the only one who can cancel the old contract and sign a new one. And I can't sign a new contract under my own name because we are on a shared talk plan and apparently only one person's name can be on the account.

Way to fail, USC.

How about a tiered structure of authorization, in which account owners can assign full access authorization to level 1 auth users, so that wives can go into a USC store and not feel like they need to have their daddies along. Or how about modifying your system so that husbands and wives can BOTH have their names on the account? I don't much appreciate being treated like the lesser party in a marriage because my name isn't on a piece of paper.

I'd sign up with a new carrier and get a cooler phone, but then our US Cellular bill would go up once I dropped off the plan, and we'd wind up paying more per month. Quite the racket, isn't it?

So instead, I have to go in to USC tomorrow and get everything ready, then call Jon and ask him to drive over on his lunch break, and he can sign the papers so I can get a new phone. Thanks, Daddy!

That's messed up.

Scrapbook Pages!

Here's my most recent batch of scrapbooking pages :) Enjoy!

Granny Perturbed

All right, Children. It's time to talk about the Express Lane.

Here's what "20 items or less, speedy checkout" does NOT mean:

1.) Waiting in line, picking your nose, while holding your checkbook, only to start filling the damn thing out AFTER you get your total, digging in your purse for a pen, then writing so-o-o slowly, and finally balancing your account with the $3.67 you just spent on a pack of Camel no filters.

2.) Aw hell. Using your checkbook PERIOD in the express lane.

3.) Getting into line with your chica and having five separate orders each so you can pay with food stamps for each order ... Welfare, WiC, food stamps are all ok - abusing them is NOT ok.

4.) Putting 40 items on the belt and thinking that I don't notice.

5.) Sending your kid back for the gallon of milk that you forgot, making the rest of us wait. Get your lazy ass out of line, go get it, re-queue, and suck it up.

6.) Counting out exact change - if you want to give the gal eighty-six cents, in the REGULAR lane, go for it.

7.) Returning something, exchanging something, buying a money order, or anything that you KNOW will require a manager. Get thee to Customer Service.

8.) Moving slowly. Seriously, ma'am, I know you're so old you owe Christ a quarter, and technically you do have fewer than twenty items, but PLEASE go to the regular lane. Don't make the rest of us wait behind you while you excruciatingly slowly lay your cans of cat food and boxes of Depends on the belt, then dig out your little change purse, count out eighty-six cents, write a check for the rest, buy a money order, ask for a price check on the Fancy Feast, and then shuffle your way out the door.

Here's what "20 items or less, speedy checkout" DOES mean:

We've got shit to do. Get the hell out of the way.

Conversations with a Toddler

Mommy: What would you like for supper, Ian?
Ian: spaghetti!
Mommy: You want spaghetti?
Ian: Yeah! I want spag- phas- I want some!

~~~~~

Mommy: Looks like we beat Daddy home again!
Ian: Yeah, I beat on Daddy!
Mommy: That's Mommy's job.

~~~~~

Ian: I see a bus!
Mommy: You do? Where?
Ian: On the road.
Mommy: (singing) on the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again...
Ian: Stop singing, Mommy! I want to talk!

~~~~~

Ian: I wanna put my hood up!
Mommy: Ok, go ahead and put your hood up.
Ian: I'm a-gonna leave my hood down!
Mommy: Okie dokie, leave it down.
(pause)
Ian: (hopeful) I a-gonna eat a cookie!

Ameda's Milk Storage Bags Are Terrible (With A Side of Suck!)

Every day this pisses me off, so I decided to come here and rant about it.

With Ian, I used Lansinoh milk storage bags for all the milk that I pumped, and I never had a problem. I heard other moms say that they leaked, but they never did for me.

A couple of months ago, I was running low on the Lansinoh bags, and I was at the Ameda website anyway, buying a new power cord for my pump. So I threw a couple of boxes of these Failbags into my shopping cart. At $13.99 a box, they ain't cheap, kids. But I thought, hey, my pump is Ameda, and this bitch has fought the good fight for three years, so they probably make good bags too.

Fail.

First of all, the opening of the bags are narrow. They "say" that it's so you can screw the bag onto the neck of the pump and pump directly into the bag; I've never in my life been able to do that. Are they smoking crack?

Secondly, they don't have a nice little neat and tidy zip closure like Lansinoh's bags (which, by the way, are CHEAPER). They make you use some stupid ass clip and then a twist tie - like we need to pollute the earth some more, now, sure, let's throw some more plastic crap in the landfills. I've already got a coworker who's squicked out by me pumping - the LAST thing that I want to do is stand there in the kitchenette with my milk apparatus on display as I fight with the damn bag. I gave up on the clip after the first time using it. I just try my best with the twist tie, and pray. Sadly, the milk gods don't listen, because frequently I get leaks. The best thing I can do is to freeze it, because then it won't leak. If I put it in the fridge, I'd best be putting it in a cup if I don't want milk all over my edibles.

Thirdly, the box contains 20 bags. They divvy out the bags into separate sealed plastic bags of 5 each. Because, again, with the landfill. And that's exactly how I want to spend my afternoons - ripping into a little baggie with my teeth as I stand there holding pump flanges and bottles and whatnot, trying to hustle so my coworker doesn't freak out. I'm pretty sure it's a sterilization issue - they figure that having 20 bags parceled out into 4 bags of 5 means that if one bag gets contaminated, the others will be ok. But dammit, they need to test this shit with new moms in the real world before they sell their failbags on the open market.

Just don't ask me to do it because I've just about had it.

Child Photo Contest

I entered a photo of Ian to Parents Magazine's cover photo contest. Winners get their picture on the front of the magazine.

Please go here to vote. All you have to do is click "I like this!" - you don't have to sign up for the website or anything.

There are three pictures in the "My boys" album. Please vote for all three?

Thanks! :)

Echo In The Bone (spoilers!)

Ok y'all ... wtf?!?!?

Did Diana Gabaldon go on a walkabout for the last 10 chapters of EitB and someone else wrote it?!?

The below mini-rant contains spoilers. If you haven't read/finished the book, DON'T LOOK!

Claire and Jamie Fraser have a massive all-encompassing love, right? Their love transcends time, right? It's the whole basis for these friggin' books, that they're "blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh." So someone PLEASE explain to me why Claire sleeps with John Grey?!?

I think Diana's in love with John Grey, seriously. I personally don't care for the character - I read the books in part for the sex and, to be completely 100% honest, I don't really want to read about homosexual sex. Sorry. Nothing against the character really, he just doesn't appeal to me for that, and because he's so damn prim and proper.

I'm just so disappointed that she has Claire have sex with John. I mean, I can understand having them marry to save her from being arrested by the English, but then they have a drunken night of hot monkey sex? Not. He's gay. She's made quite the point of that. Why on earth would he want to sleep with the widow of the man he's been in love with for thirty odd years? I don't buy the reasoning of he just wanted to be closer to Jamie. It's still the wrong hole, sorry, no.

Does anyone else think that the end of the book felt extremely rushed in some plot lines and not rushed enough in others? I wanted to hear what was going on with Roger - what happened when he went through? Did he make it through? I assumed he did because he didn't come home, but - what's going on! Aaagh! Obviously he's going to try to make his way to the Ridge, because that's where he thinks Rob Cameron is taking Jemmy, but would he first go to Lallybroch to try to find Jamie, since he knew they went to Scotland?

And she has Claire find out that Jamie's dead, then marry John, have sex with John, think about killing herself, and find Jamie again, all in a whirlwind of like 2 chapters. Granted, they're long chapters, but... I could have done without that plot line at all. Just avoid that crap and have Claire and Jamie wait in Philadelphia and Roger shows up there and they all look for Jemmy, etc. The sex with John is unnecessary and, obviously, upset me and many other readers. (Not to mention that Claire is a physician and she knows that in that time period STD's would be rampant, especially among homosexual men, and yet she sleeps with one unprotected anyway. Right.)

The final scene with Jamie is John telling him that he had "carnal knowledge" of his wife and Jamie's noncommittal response. And that's it. Whuh? Talk about a crappy ending. Would Jamie not care? Hardly. He's taken bullets and bayonets for this woman, he's killed men who raped her - he's not going to just shrug off a man admitting to having sex with her.

Has the Outlander series jumped the shark? I pray not. It's my favorite series of all time and I'm so disappointed right now in the turn it's taken. Unfortunately I'll have to wait a couple of years to find out what happens next.

Stories of my Boys

First, a shout out to Baby Duncan for sleeping through the night last night! Woohoo, go Baby Duncan! What a great little guy :) They say that most babies sleep through the night at 4 months old, and he'll be 4 months old on Thursday, so I guess in our case it was true.

Poor Ian had a rough day yesterday. We went to Grandpa & Nana's to pick up some of their furniture that they're giving away.

When we got home, Jon backed into the driveway so that we could unload the truck bed. Ian had slept the entire way home, and I opened the back door to say hi to him before helping Jon. He must not have remembered that, because after we'd unloaded the furniture, I took Duncan inside and Jon went to get Ian. Poor Ian was crying hysterically - he woke up and didn't see us, and he thought we'd left him. Poor little guy!

Needless to say, Ian got lots of hugs and some ice cream for dinner.

Regarding this health care bill that they just passed, it's not very comforting to hear members of our legislative body shouting "baby killer" at each other while the House is in session. Seriously? These are our elected officials? We're all going to hell.

Nip/Tuck Series Finale (Spoilers)

I finally got around to watching the N/T series finale that I had DVR'ed.

Was anyone else depressed or bored by that ending?

I mean, these are characters who have spent 6 odd years doing everything they possibly can to screw their lives up and make themselves miserable. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they all seem to have found their ka and are moving towards it. Matt decides he wants to be with Ava, who's back after years away, and him and her and poor baby Jenna wander off into the sunset together. Kimber is mysteriously dead-but-not-dead. Sean's wife and children are conveniently sent away. Sean goes to Romania to start working with disadvantaged children. And Christian goes back to hound dogging.

It just seems like they all got exactly what they wanted, all of a sudden. Like Liz being pregnant and suddenly being made partner. Really? After all that time?

It didn't work for me. Personally, I think the show jumped the shark when they moved to LA. Miami was MUCH more interesting. The whole storyline about Sean being on TV was lame. And the crap about Julia being a lesbian (but oh NO she wasn't, because now she's marrying a guy, right, sure). And Christian getting it on with Kimber's MOM before the funeral? Ok, that one I believe, knowing the character.

What a disappointing series finale. Sigh.

Really?

Was it really necessary to have Ted Allen talking about the "best darn pickle" he ever ate? You couldn't let him talk about a hamburger or something, Food Network? You know he's gay, don't you? C'mon now, let the man have some dignity.

ANTM

ANTM cycle 13 premiered last night. I'm still friggin' watching this show. What's wrong with me?!?

Tyra seemed a little more sedate than usual last night, except for the part where she made Mr. Jay lie down on the floor and she humped him like a stripper, demanding his sperm. Why do I watch this crap?!?

Ok so Angelea - ugh. Her nose ruins her face. Her attitude sucks as well.

Genevieve - pre-makeover, I didn't think she had the goods to compete. Post-makeover, she looked a lot better. I still don't like her attitude, though. It's all good to act tough, but if you're competing to become a model, it's not very conducive.

The girl with all of the piercings who didn't make it and cried piteously - seriously, what did you expect? Most modeling clients are not going to want someone with holes in her face. I get it hon, I really do - I pierced my tongue once. But even without studs, there's still holes that would have to be airbrushed, which = more money for postwork. Clients don't want that. You're in the wrong line of business.

Ahh ANTM, you are my favorite trainwreck.

On another note, I saw this on a resume today: "I am a detail, oriented person." Really?

Holy crap!

Corey Haim died. Bummer, dude!

What is up with this - it's the celebrities in their late 20's (Heath Ledger) and 30's (Corey, Brittany Murphy, Boner) dying instead of the young pups. When is someone from the Twilight movie or 90210 going to die?

I blame McDonald's. Those of us in our 30's were raised to think fast food is ok, so we eat more of it. Our parents didn't know any better. The kids in their teens and 20's, their parents learned the damage that bad eating can do, so they grew up eating right and exercising. Great for them, bad for us!

Ok, well maybe drugs have something to do with it too.

Duncan's First Post

Wassssuuuuuuup!!

I are Duncan Robert! Holla, bitches!!!

So's I was born in Novembers and I'm not so old yet. But I am the boss! No, don't try to tell me nothin' - I won't have it!

I say no, and I say no again, and I say good day! Stick that in your binky and suck it!

Aw, I's just kiddin'. I'm way cute, lookie:




Aw. I look just like my brother! That's good cuz he gets all the ladies. I have a girlfriend, her name is Miley. She so pretty! We're gonna get married when we're really old, like twenty.

So I rule da house and I run my mommy and daddy ragged. They just started putting me in my crib at night, which sucks ass becuz I want to be held all the time! Whassup with dat?!? So I wait til like 2 and then I cry and it's hilarious.

And I has a minion:




If I cry, he runs and gets me my binky. And he is helpful and tells Mommy, "Da baby's crying!" Is nice. He tries to feed me my bottle too but Mommy won't let him. He's a good minion.

Hey check me out!

I'm resurrecting my blog! Get down with my bad self!

I'm going to write about all sorts of crap now though, not just the kids (although I'm sure they will provide me with much consternation, and you with much merriment).

Be warned - I'm gonna cuss in this blog now. Just so you know.

So today I want to bitch about rude ass people in the skywalk. For those who don't know, I work in a downtown office, and park about 5 blocks away. There's a skywalk that goes from the parkade to my building, and this skywalk is connected via doors at various intervals.

Now, when I was pregnant, I was quite used to people slamming these doors in my face. But even if they didn't slam the door, they sure didn't hold it for me either. Folks, it's NOT considered polite to go storming around someone (who, incidentally, may or may not be walking slowly due to a watermelon in the belly), thrust open the next door, then give it a limp-wristed push as you go through it. That's not cool. In fact, most times I had to bring up an arm so the door didn't hit me in the fetus. Thanks. I'm sure your mommy is proud of you.

This morning, I was heavily laden coming from my car with various vittles of Monday goodness: laptop, purse, pump, six-pack of soda, milk, etc. I was pulling my little cart behind me. This asshole in a 3-piece suit storms around me, opens the door that's RIGHT in front of me, then just goes through it. Didn't even do the limp wristed push. !!! Seriously, dude? That's the way you want to play it?

I hope he gets the clap.

When did people stop holding doors for others? I always do it. If I'm in the skywalk and the person behind me is within 5 feet, I hold the damn door. Is everyone so busy that they can't take ten seconds to wait for someone else? If I ever find out that my boys don't hold doors for people, I'll blister their behinds.

Don't EVEN get me started on when you hold the door for someone, and there's someone else coming up behind them, and THAT person just churns right through the door (with or without a "thank you"), and there's ANOTHER person that chugs through, then ANOTHER, and you're standing there like a doofus because you don't want to be rude and shut the door in someone's face. If it were me coming through the door that someone was holding, I would thank them and take over the door holding for the next person. Then that person could hold it for the next person, and so on. This happened to me when I was pregnant (getting stuck holding the door for umpteen million people passing through) and my body language was that of someone who was getting quite annoyed with it all, and people would give me a sympathetic look and still go through the door. Um, really?

Courtesy seems to be gasping its last breath in our country.