In Ian's Words...

What's up my peoples?

So like check this out. Mommy is totally in the corner chewing on the furniture. Sometimes she goes "blee blee blee" and does something weird with her bottom lip. I think she's lost it, y'all. So I has to write this today.

Today I totally got Mommy up at 2:30 and then she didn't get to sleep until after 4. Go me! And then, for real, I got her back up at 7. Rawr! Then she was all trying to get me to eat and go back to sleep and I totally fooled her, I wouldn't! Ha ha! She was all like, "I don't know what to do with you!" and it was quite the funny. Finally she said, "I give up!" and she decided she was all up for the day and stuff, and I went to sleep. I am so hilarious! Mommy didn't think so, but she has a bad sense of humor. Don't tell her though, because then she'll make me take a bath.

So then, right, after she got me to wake up, we went out. First we went to a restaurant so that Mommy could be around other grown-ups for a little while, even if they no hablan ingles. I don't know what that means. Mommy ate a lot of chips and salsa and I threatened to cry and ruin everyone's lunch, but she told me to be good and so I did. Not that it helped me later when it came time for the bath.

So then we went to the grocery store. Why do those mean old ladies hit my stroller with their carts? Mommy says bad words when they do that. Anyway, we bought some stuff for Mommy to make for dinner. Because when he comes home from the salt mines - I don't like salt and I don't know why he wants to make it but Daddy is weird like that - if he doesn't have any supper his face gets all

and I don't like my Daddy to be like that. Mommy, yes. Daddy, no. I like Daddy because he has fun furry stuff on his face and I like to pull it as hard as I can. Daddy likes that.

So we bought Daddy some meat products and came home. So Mommy thought she would just hang out the rest of the day and watch "Buffy" but no, I had other plans! She is just lucky I totally waited until we get home. Then I totally pooped my pants, you guys. It was all up the back of my baseball outfit. Mommy was going to take a picture of it but it was just too gross.

But then, it all backfired on me, yo. I had to totally take a bath. It sucked. Mommy was all "Ewww, Ian!" and I'm all like, "What, yo, Moms?" Like a guy can't poop in his pants these days without some chick getting all mad about it. Jeez. So I had to do the bath thing which I do sorta like but don't tell anyone because I gots a rep to protect and stuff. I got to wear my Little Hero outfit then because the baseball outfit is total yuck.

But before she put on my Little Hero outfit, right, I totally peed all over the changing table! Ha! Mommy almost cried. But she didn't. I need to work on my technique - she's getting used to me, boo.

Now I'm hanging out in my swing, practicing my meditation, yo. I'm quite the little swami, ya know.

Ohm, dude.

Not much else is going on for Mommy and me. We sleep and poop and eat. Oh I went to see Great Grandma last week, she's nice and smells good. She told me she's going to keep candy in her house for me when I get bigger. Yay Grandma!

And we went to Mommy Group last week where there were lots of babies, and they were all worse than me, I was totally good! Mommy needs to quit her complainin' cuz those babies sucked and I rocked. Mommy weighed me and I was at 11 pounds and 9 oz and that's really good because I eat like a pig and I never let Mommy put the bottle down, almost. Ha!

I will write more later but right now I want to go tell Mommy to change my pants again.