It seems I'm out of a job

Today I talked to my boss and he informed me that our parent company has declared Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. What that means is that everyone in my office is out of a job as of today.

I spent the day crying and wondering what's going to happen. I look at Ian's face and wonder if we're going to be able to take care of him. Jon says that I can stay home and we'll be fine, but do I really want to do that? Do I want to always be worrying and arguing about money? I don't think that I do. So that means I need to find another job.

I don't WANT another job - I want the job I had! I loved that job! It was the first job I ever had that I got along with everyone and no one hated me or talked about me behind my back. I loved carpooling with Jon every morning and not having to worry about driving in the snow. I loved having a laptop and working from home if I felt sick or on Friday afternoons. Working with customers was on email, not face-to-face or on the phone. I did a great job and got lots of good reviews from customers and coworkers - I rocked that job! That it's gone is such a blow to me. I never had a job that I loved, and when I finally found one, I got to have it for 8 short months and then it was gone.

Bernie says that there's a small chance that someone will buy our company from the parent company, and we'll get to keep our jobs. The parent company is selling off its holdings to pay creditors, I guess, according to what Jon found by Googling it. I'm not too hopeful but maybe it will be ok. We're going to give it a month and see if that happens, and if not, I'm going to look into something else.

There's a program at Kaplan University in Davenport that is 12 curriculum hours, and if I take that and then do 50 hours in a classroom as an intern, I can get a year's teaching license in a local high school. I did always want to teach but I thought you had to have a masters (which I don't, of course). If Chimes doesn't come back, I will look into that - I've already emailed the guy to get more information. Davenport is an hour and a half away, so driving down there every day, or even twice a week, would be a pain in my butt, but I'd do it if I had do. I just don't know if we could afford for me to attend the program. I'll find out how much it costs soon.

I hate that everything's up in the air and that I don't know what's going to happen. I want to give Ian everything in the world, and a good life where he doesn't see his parents worrying about money. I also want to like my job so that I am happy when I come home and am not always stressed out, like I was when I worked at AEGON. I had the perfect job and now it's gone. It really sucks.

I'm trying not to cry about it any more, but there's a lot of stress right now.